So... I spent the morning reading!

My original blog post this morning was about Noah.  His home schooling, and how validated I feel in our decision to home school him.   Its saved in my blogger for another day.  Because as I was typing my "wonderful Noah" post, I clicked over to FB ( yeah, yeah) to message Ian about something.  We communicate on FB more then IRL some days .  At the top of my FB page there was a link from DOC.  So, I clicked and started reading.  An hour and a half later I was saying goodbye to Christopher (wishing him luck for freshman initiation ) and still reading. Skipping School.   Go read.  She is great!  

I was racing around getting everything ready for the 4 day weekend (yes, Ian is included in this 4 days of fun)... and it dawned on me.  I never thought about home schooling for the first 5 years of my kids education.  Not once!  I fought the system, hit many a brick wall, and just kept right on fighting.  Home schooling never landed on my radar!  Heck,  I had never heard of it!  Day in and day out I would wake up, and prepare to fight for my kids rights.  The right to be treated with dignity and respect.  The right  to a quality education.

 I grew up attending DODEA schools in Germany.  Yes, I was sheltered. Yes, my school experience was vastly different then those of my peers.  If I screwed up in school, my dad would be called.  I would sit on a plastic chair, the backs of my legs sweating, silently praying I would live through the day.    My dad always showed up in uniform, and NEVER once took my side.  It was always my fault.  And, yes it was always my fault.   Never once did I hear my father make an excuse for my behavior.  It was always "I'll take care of it".  Boy did he!  I spent an entire summer grounded, helping dig up our backyard.  My offense, I stole a girls lip gloss.  There were no days off for good behavior.  Just me, my dad and buckets of dirt.  You know, it was the best summer of my life!  Dad was home that summer,  and we had a blast!   Of course at the time I thought my dad was so MEAN!

But I digress...  When Christopher hit the 5 Th grade I felt like I was loosing control.  I would get called to the school for something or another, and I KNEW (as my dad did) that he was at fault.  He did it! And, I would "take care of it".   Until one day his teacher  and I had the same back and forth.  She asked for a meeting to discuss Christopher's inability to sit still in her class.  He was disruptive.. blah..blah.. Heard it all before.  I could feel my blood boil.  There I was having the same internal dialogue:

Every day its something!  What is going on?  Why can't he just sit still?  Well, I guess he is grounded this weekend!  I assured her I would FIX it and marched home..

After yelling for 5 minutes,  Christopher for the first time yelled back at me!  "But, what does she want me to do, mom I don't have a book! She just wants me to sit there with my head down"?!   And, I really listened when my son spoke.   The next day I went back to the school, and was told Christopher was probably ADHD!  I should get him tested, and medicated.  Never mind that he had completed the book for the class.  Never mind she was asking an 11 year old boy to sit for an hour with his head down.

But, still I questioned if he was ADHD.  That night I googled ADHD for information and happened upon several blogs.  One was a home schooling blog My Foil Hat. I'm still not sure how I ended up there from ADHD?  I read for hours. Reading out loud to Ian.  I read, and clicked onto other blogs and read them.  Home school!  They all seemed so Normal.  Their kids well adjusted, and well educated~!

Now this is the part of the story where I would love to say the next morning I marched down and withdrew Christopher from school.  But, I didn't.  For a couple of months after that I fought.  Out of a need to prove something I am sure. A need to know my kid could sit in school and learn. Fear that I couldn't possibly be as good as Amy, Ami, Doc, and all the other mom's I read daily.  

Then I jumped headlong off a cliff and I took my kids with me.  Me, the Army brat who grew up in a very black and white world.  There was the wright way and the wrong way.  And, NO in between.  That first year with Christopher was a struggle for us both.  It was also the best year of my life with him to date!  We laughed, cried, and the foundation of our relationship changed dramatically.  Christopher is no longer home schooled. He attends the DODEA school, and loves it!  He thrives, does well and not once have I heard ADHD mentioned.  That year I spent with him I taught him something no school ever could!  That he does have a voice, he can speak up, and Ian and I will always listen.  That is not to say he always likes the answers he is given, and we are living in teenager world like every other family with a teenage son.

What Christopher taught me was so much bigger.  And, his siblings will benefit from that knowledge.  I don't always know the answer, hell I'm not supposed to.  Things are not always right, some days are harder then others.   But, who I am as their mother has radically changed.  

The thing about home schooling is this:  No matter the reasons, if you home school for religious reason, or because you move around all the time. If its because you have a child that needs extra help, or one that  is light years ahead of where the system says they should be.  Every home school kid shares one common thread.  They all went head long off a cliff... And, I would like to say thank you to mom's like Amy, Ami, Doc, Kate's mom and countless other mothers..  Reading you gave me the power to jump...